I Heard it in the Grapevine
Somewhere around 4:30 a.m. sounds crept into my sleep and then awoke me with a start when I realized the noise was not originating from within my dreams. I got up to check on the source of the activity going on in the thirty two year old, forty foot grapevine that grows over the garden shed and down to the end of the driveway.
The rustling continued uninterrupted as I opened the door and stepped out onto the back porch, so I turned on the outer light and from the top of the shed, amidst the grapes and leaves one of the masked bandits popped his head and paws out of the vine to take a look at who was disturbing their twilight grape raid. A critter too adorable to admonish for the rude hour of my sleep disturbance, or the fact that he and his masked accomplice were stealing my precious grapes. The harvest from my grapevine was an event last year and I plan to make it so again this year. Those grapes were shared with so many and I feel torn about what to do about the raccoons.
Last year I worked out a compromise with the birds. They can have the grapes that grow from the grapevine in the back garden, but they have to leave the main vine alone and so far they have honored our agreement. I’m wondering if such an arrangement can be reached with the masked twosome. They can have the grapes that grow on top of the shed, but they need to leave the hanging bunches alone. And it would be better if they arrived around midnight, rather than disturbing my best REM sleep. They seemed like a couple of reasonable raccoons and promptly left the grapevine at my request, so we’ll just have to see how it goes.
If there’s any way to run an extension cord out there and plug in a bright light on the grapes you’d like the raccoons not to mess with that might help keep them away. Or it could just help ‘em spot the sweetest stuff of the bunches.
My other suggestion would be to make up a mixture of water and chili powder and spray it on the grapes, but that might backfire and leave you with some spiced-up fruit. Other than that, as a last if more aggressive resort if they wake you up again and you catch ‘em having a snack you should consider going moderately batshit and shaking the vine or waving your arms and clapping and maybe doing the hokey-pokey while turning a hose on them and yourself so that they recognize your all-out craziness and scram for a quieter if far less entertaining location.
Hopefully they’ll be cooperative and you won’t have to employ the hokey-pokey defense, but if you do there should SO be video of the performance.
Oh, admonish them you must, critters of the night you cannot trust
The will return and feast some more, such delicious bounty, too good to ignore
I’ve sampled them myself and can attest, sweet and juicy they are the best
but I didn’t wake you at 4:40 in the morn, the masked bandits you must scorn
So protect them please, from one and all, I’m waiting patiently, waiting for the call
that they are ready to enjoy and savor, my garden’s ready I’ll return the favor
Rona
Will - thanks for your suggestions. I like the spicy fruit idea, although I do hate to miss out on being a hot YouTube item with a Bat Shit Crazy Raccoon Banishing Hokey-Pokey Dance Video. I mean, I’d want to see that.
Rona, sorry, but the first harvest has been chowed down upon already. The raccoons returned on Saturday night, at an earlier hour and had themselves quite a feast. There’s a second harvest in the making though, so perhaps by the time those grapes become tempting, I will figure something out. I like having raccoons. I can get grapes at the store.
Oh Rona, Rona, if you could see those dear little faces pop up through the leaves
Your heart would be softened and you’d want to say “have some more guys but
leave some for us please’”
BTW, did you see the video I got of our latest raccoon neighbor a couple weeks ago?
Check it: http://www.wildbell.com/raccoon.html
Nice video Will - I couldn’t get it to come in through your website so I went to look at it over at the YouTube Link
They are so brave -probably because they know they can chew our faces off if they were put in a situation they didn’t like.
Rona - nice bit of rhyming there! Fun follow up Breezy. Thanks for the laugh.
Oh no, I agree, they are wonderful creatures. When I’ve been up early enough I’ve seen adult and cubs playing on my front lawn. During the summer months we think ithey come out of the storm drain. They are so cute. In Oct 2006 I had visitors from England, and we were sitting on the deck about 9 pm. My mother heard all kinds of commotion over in the far corner of the garden, freaked out and ran inside. She thought it was a burglar climbing the fence. I had no fear at all because of the massive rose bush growing in that corner with so many thorns it could pass for a medieval weapon. Anyway I found a flashlight and to my surprise when I shone it in that direction 4 pairs of eyes lit up in the pitch darkness. I could see the silhouette of 4 sets of legs - raccoons. They were on their way to raid the walnut tree. It was amazing and very entertaining.
Will, great video, thorouly enjoyable.
Oops, have a migraine brewing and can’t spell properly in the dark. The above comment should read ‘thoroughly enjoyable”. Doesn’t really sense though does it since I touch type? Oh well the migraine is my excuse.
Oh no Rona, not a migraine! Yes, it can throw the senses off thorouly and thoroughly! I’ll bet this brand new batch of smoke isn’t doing much to help the migraine situation. Hope you feel better soon.